FRIENDS ARE OUR ANGELS

It is a Monday morning at the Jesuit Publications office and I have just opened an email letter bringing me the very sad news that one of my American friends, John F. Kunkel from Phoenix, Arizona, has died from a massive heart attack.

He and his wife Annie befriended me in early 2003, taking me into their home and family, generous beyond measure in their hospitality and care for me. Annie's email note enclosing the eulogy at John's funeral service reminded me of the wisdom expressed in the saying that 'Friends are the angels that lift us up when our wings have forgotten how to fly'.

Ancient wisdom says that all of us, at any given time, might be 'entertaining angels unawares'. Indeed, it is written in the Talmud that 'every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, "Grow, grow".'

In the March edition of western Sydney's Loyola Senior High School newsletter this year, Jesuit Principal Brendan Kelly wrote movingly:

'When is the last time you were surprised by an angel? They visit us all the time, angels. The world is full of God's messengers. You know them. They are the people and events who come out of nowhere, cross our path and point us in a direction that we hadn't thought of, or say that word that makes the difference or leave us feeling amazed or full of wonder.

'Wonderful beings, angels! I encountered one recently. I received a telephone call from a former student. She asked me to contact her girlfriend who works at Parramatta Gaol. I dutifully telephoned. "Can you come and visit a young man who has been in custody for two months? He wants an Easter blessing".'

Angels lurk everywhere, especially among our friends. When Cardinal Basil Hume, the former Archbishop of Westminster, died several years ago, one of his eulogists was the Chief Rabbi of the Commonwealth, Jonathan Sacks. He wrote, 'I recall the words of Judaism's early sages. They asked, "Who is a hero?" They answered, "One who turns strangers into friends". That was Cardinal Hume's great gift.'

One might say that the whole of life is about friendship, about turning strangers into friends. That is why there are all sorts of proverbs and sayings, all sorts of received wisdom about friendship:

A friend knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.

Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you have done a permanent job.

Do not judge your friend until you stand in his place.

Friendship is to be purchased only by friendship.

The light of friendship is like the light of phosphorus, seen when all around is dark.

A foreigner is a friend I haven't met yet.

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

A friend is a person with whom you dare to be yourself.

A friend is one who knows all about you and still likes you.

Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.

A friend is a present you give to yourself.

Friends as angels, as God's messengers, help us to value the gift of friendship in its various shapes. First, there is the value of friendship with ourselves. That might sound strange, but Jesus does enjoin us in the gospel to love our neighbour as ourselves. Those last two words can easily be overlooked, yet I am sure our angels have often reminded us of our talents at a time when we, for whatever reason, have lost sight of them.

In his wonderful book, Walk to Jerusalem, British Jesuit Gerard W. Hughes writes: 'Each of must make our own inner journey ... The signpost to follow is appreciation of our own worth. It is because we do not value ourselves that we undervalue one another and our world, threatening its extinction in the name of security and defence ... The heart recognises the signpost; it reads: "You are precious in my eyes. You are honoured and I love you" (Isaiah 43:4).'

Second, our angels constantly point us to the riches of friendship with others. Ronald Rolheiser in his book, Forgotten among the Lilies, reminds us that in our culture it is no accident that 'it is easier to find a lover than a friend'. The fidelity to us of our friends, their thoughtfulness, their looking out for us, should always be a source of wonder and gratitude for us. We can never take these friendships for granted. No, we need to work at them, nurture them, cultivate them like a vigilant gardener.

Finally, and most importantly, there is friendship with our God. Indeed, our capacity for friendship is incomplete until we can call God our friend. Jesus has called us his friends, as we read in John chapter 15, and his death on the cross is the clearest possible symbol of that generous friendship. 'No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends.'

At the end of 1939, when England had committed itself to war with Germany, King George VI ended a radio broadcast with the memorable words:

'I said to the Man who stood at the Gate of the Year, "Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown". And he replied, "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way".'

The message is clear. Be a good friend to yourself, to others, and to your God. Indeed, learn often to place your hand into the hand of God, knowing that God befriended us first through his Son, Jesus. 'You can have no greater love than to lay down your life for your friends. You are my friends.'

This is my last piece as editor of Madonna. I wish to thank you all for your support and encouragement in the role and look forward perhaps to contributing in a different way in the future. I wish all Madonna readers the best of God's gifts in some of my favourite words of blessing:

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall gently in your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hands,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.