Mary – model for our prayer - Brian Stoney

The last issue of our magazine featured a tribute to Fr Brian Stoney. We reproduce here excerpts from an article he wrote on Mary for Madonna in the 1980s, which, apart from offering some deep theological reflection, gives us an insight into the thought that later led to his fierce dedication to the poor.

I believe Jesuits, following Ignatius, ought to have a profound reverence for women, an unashamed courtesy towards them, and an ability to let them touch our lives. This reverence stems from what they are, bodily and sexually. Women have an openness to receive, and, by receiving, to create life. And that is what prayer is all about—to be open to receive and to create life, through the power of God …

Out of Ignatius’ courtesy towards women came his devotion to Mary. It was part and parcel of his life. In his biography, he says of himself:

‘Of the many vain things that presented themselves to him, one took such a hold on his heart that he was absorbed with thinking about her for two or three or four hours without realising it. He imagined what he would do in the service of a certain lady, the means he would take so that he could go off to the country where she lived, the verses, the words he would say to her, the deeds of arms he would do in her service.’

Women obviously played a part in his life!

God has created incredible beauty in women—a mother giving birth to and nurturing a child; a woman’s tenderness towards a husband, her fidelity in times of difficulty, her silence of heart. And it seems that all these things reach their fullest beauty in Mary.

Mary touches us in simple ways—we allow her to hold our hand at the foot of the cross or to draw us into child-like prayer before the crib, or we kneel with her watching her at the Annunciation, sharing her silence as she kept all those things in her heart …

Mary’s silent fidelity came from her faith. She knew who she was and who God was. She knew that ‘God has looked on my nothingness (Luke 1:48). And to me this is the summary of Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises: of myself I am nothing: God is everything.

Many in the church endeavour to enter into the lives of the poor. But to do this we need to be truthful to the depths of our heart, and recognise that we are nothing before God. Of course, we are precious in the sight of God, but only because God made us, loves us and gives us his own life.

The world goes to the poor to get them out of their poverty. But it takes only a tiny twist for the poor, and ourselves, to move away from that nothingness before God, so that we take over from God. That is why oppressed people so often become the oppressors—they have no awareness of their dignity which only comes from faith, faith during times of suffering. I know of no other way to remain poor in spirit except to be dignified and at peace in the midst of suffering.

And to me that’s where Mary is absolutely central. She knew the central truth of life—she was nothing: God was all. Everything she had came from God. She lived out that faith in silence and simplicity.

Ignatius knew that this can not be lived out except in a personal and loving way. He says we are to beg and beseech that we be allowed to follow Jesus as poor, to be considered fools for his sake, unwanted and failures.

We can long, from the bottom of our hearts, to follow Jesus in being poor and humiliated, because he too was a human being and so had to be powerless—nothing—before his Father.

Mary can lead us to the poor and humiliated Jesus. She does this as a mother and a woman—through her faith, through her silence in suffering, though her stillness and openness to God, and through her womanly, motherly, receiving of us in our weakness, our hesitation, our sinfulness.

I believe she can lead us, deeply and with such warmth, into this life of poverty and humiliation, where we will find true peace. And, more than that, where, alone, we will be truly human.