Listen - Susie Hii
Christ has no body now but yours;
No hands, no feet on earth, but yours.
Yours are the eyes through which
He looks with compassion on the world;
Yours are the ears with which he listens*
Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good;
Yours are the hands with which he blesses the world.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours.
St. Teresa of Avila
* (my addition)
I am a member of Christian Life Community (CLC). We, CLCers take pride in our listening skills. I heard the importance of listening spoken of so often that I absorbed it, subconsciously, and even begin practising it! I believe in not hiding from our own darkness and depths but experiencing and embracing them, so as to be able to share in the Passion of Christ and become compassionate. As a geriatrician, through meditation, I am learning to listen, to be compassionate and to find my mission.
Recently, a 58-year-old man who drinks alcohol excessively was referred to our clinic. One of the nurses thought that it was an inappropriate referral, as he was too young. I looked through his hospital file before seeing him, and was inclined to agree with the nurse, with a growing sense of irritation. However, I listened to him intently, and was quite surprised at how capable he was of formulating and articulating his problems. I told him as much. After the consultation, he told the nurse that it was the first time he had felt listened to. That simple gesture brought a spark to my day, an encouragement to keep listening to my patients even when I do not feel like it.
There have been other times where I have lis with my patients. When I see them months down the track, some of them have no recollection of our conversation or who I am. Jesus tells us to love not only those who love us in return. My hope is that they benefit from our encounter just as I gain from listening to their stories of suffering, courage and survival.
Many older people like reminiscing and repeating stories. My 82-year-old mother certainly does. While family may find it irritating and time-consuming to keep hearing the same stories, they may be interesting and helpful to those who have never heard them before. I have certainly found most life stories I have heard to be full of the wisdom that can only come with age.
An 82-year-old man told me that he starts every day with a prayer and feels bathed in God’s love. I want to have a simple and easy faith and love like that.
A woman in her 80s told me that when she came out of depression, she heard the birds singing more beautifully than ever before. I asked her how she overcame depression; she said by talking to a good friend for a year.
A 75-year-old woman had lost her three-year-old daughter in a car accident. She said someone asked her ‘Would you rather have the three years with your daughter and go through the pain of losing her, or not have had her at all and not have the pain?’ That question helped her to go through many more years of life without her daughter.
In her first two visits to see me, a 72-year–old woman cried as she talked about how she misses her husband who died several years ago. Her daughter and good friend who accompanied her were surprised, saying that she had never cried in front of them or her doctor.
Everyone has a life story waiting to be told. There is much that we can do, as listening people, to alleviate loneliness among our older people, whether they live still in their own homes or are in hostels or nursing-homes. I urge anyone who has time to consider this as mission: ‘I was lonely and you visited me.’
