With my foot in my mouth - Madonna Magazine

With my foot in my mouth

Isabella Fels 09 March 2017

When it comes to me putting my foot in things I am a centrefold.
I never feel as good as gold
often I feel have acted too bold
from what I have been told.

Offensive remarks read like a bad scroll
looking bad in all of life’s informal polls
I have really dug myself into a hole.

But I’m just a funny sort
You’d think I hadn’t been taught.

I give my opinion
about popular dominion
A subject that I know absolutely nothing about
like football, ‘Who’s really out?’

Football, tennis, golf or cricket
I don’t know where to buy the ticket
to attend the game
Or the match, is it the same?

I even get soccer and rugby mixed up
Which one is the Cup?
You could say I am not on the ball,
I don’t leave people enthralled.

Schizophrenia makes me like this, you see,
a world sometimes of fantasy
in many ways I feel I am removed from society
I dig up the past
And always come last

In a tunnel of perennial worries and fears
I cannot stay abreast of current affairs
Yet it doesn’t seem fair
That I should bear
People’s funny looks

Conversations can suddenly cease
when inquiring after a deceased.
Or backs turned on me
When asking about a pregnancy
When all they’ve done is put on weight
My brain engages a little too late

Now I slowly feel myself being loved and adored
I’m no longer shown the door

I express myself now on the page
It’s a different stage

The writing
Keeps me fighting

This special gift
Gives me a lift
I’m no longer adrift
I can now shine like a jewel
I’m no longer a fool

Starting all over again

My beloved pen
is now my friend.


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